Christless, grace-less attempts at change conclude either with the praise of your own glory or with your shame. – (“Who Is God?,” Seeing with New Eyes by David Powlison, p.48)
Why do I fail in my attempts at change? Answer: Because I attempt to change my life in my own strength, for my own glory. With a doctrine of sin, I become frustrated that I have yet again become entangled in my sin! I dislike reaping what I sow. I know sin has consequences: thorns and bad fruit.
My habit of running to escapes when I have course work due the next day is not helpful. I become outraged at myself when I don’t do as well as I should on my assignments or examinations. “I could have done better if I didn’t waste time!” I try to encourage myself out of my guilt by telling myself: “I will redouble my efforts and be successful next time.” But somehow, escapes like the internet and email claim my attention, and I fail yet again.
I fail because I have a self-centered approach in my war against sin. My anger is against the consequences of sin, rather than the evilness of sin. I do not realize that my sin is an offense against God. (Psalm 51:4, Luke 15:18, Genesis 39:9.) Instead of being upset that I have wasted my precious time when I should have been studying, I should be concerned that I have not lived life to God’s glory. I have sinned against God by trying to forget my worries. I forget God’s presence and do not rely on him for tomorrow. My motivation, my heart for change, is not pure. I am mad at myself because of my pride. I want to achieve my own righteousness. I dislike feeling guilty and wish those feelings would go away. But this is worldly guilt that leads to death. (2 Corinthians 7:10.) Graciously, God lets me fail again and again when I attempt to change in my own strength.
God wants to cultivate in me godly guilt. Godly guilt leads to repentance and life. At the heart of godly guilt is an attitude that makes Christ preeminent. A doctrine of sin would have me examine why my sin is so ugly. It makes a mockery of God’s power and presence when I fail to trust in him. I should not be surprised at my sinfulness. This is why Christ had to die! I need Christ’s love, forgiveness, and power to change. I need to live life to the praise and glory of his grace. Whether I eat or drink, I must do all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31.) God is glorified as I rely on him for grace to change. He wants me to testify that his grace is sufficient for me, and that his power is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9.) May we boast in our weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest in us!
