Slow to Anger

But where you find quarrels and fights, you are witnessing people obeying the desires of a different lord. – (Journal of Biblical Counseling, 16:1, p. 34)

Anger is a moral matter. By its nature it makes judgments and seeks to eliminate injustice. God wants me to exhibit righteous anger. I should be rightfully outraged at gossip, theft, murder, and child abuse. But too often, my anger is not holy. The fruit of my anger shows me that unrighteous anger has mastered me. Powlison says it well: “The clearest gauge of whether anger is right or wrong in its expression is whether it acts to condemn or to offer help.” (Journal of Biblical Counseling, 14:1, p.50)

As a peacemaker, I need to be ruled by righteous anger. Temptations toward unrighteous anger abound. I am tempted to become fed up with the inconsiderateness of counselees who call me at odd hours, when I am busy or tired. Why does the counselee bother me now? I hear the problems of people in conflict and am tempted towards escapism. I tell them to just trust in God, but say this with a lack of faith, believing that this particular individual lacks faith, just wants to vent, and is hopeless. Or perhaps I feel that a counselee wants me to pronounce a judgment over his wrong doer. I become fed up with the sins of the counselee and offer a stern rebuke, lacking in grace and mercy. I may avoid a verbal conflict with my counselee, but all is not well in my own heart. My mind races to my own needs and my ears are not attentive to him. I need peace and rest!

James 4 says that I have conflicts because of the desires that battle within me. God’s word turns on the lights. It tells me that I have not watched my tongue or my desires. When I examine my desires, I notice that I have become frustrated because I have created idols. My desires for peace and quiet have reached the status of “lords.” Perhaps I am driven by fear and worry that because of the time taken up by this counseling session, all will not be well tomorrow. I forget that God is faithful. I forget that God is concerned about changing me more than my circumstances. He wants to make me patient and compassionate. He wants me to stand with those that have been wronged and remind them that God is their refuge. He wants me to breathe grace to my counselees and encourage them to walk in love and forgiveness.

The Lord shows me that instead of seeing my counselee as a roadblock to my goals, I should see myself as an instrument in the Redeemer’s hand. The Lord has been patient with me, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. (Psalm 103:8.) Praise the Lord.