As a law student, they have trained me to be a skeptic. The truth is not always as it appears. I am taught to read between the lines, to grasp the larger picture. Why did that criminal defendant use that defense? How did Jane die? What really happened? This class room skepticism has a tendency to be carried into all of my life. While some skepticism is healthy and needed to guard truth, I must not forget that there is “truth.” My foundation for truth is God’s revelation. Jesus Christ and God’s word provide an alternative to skepticism:
Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God. – Psalm 42:5-6
The gospel would require that Christians have hope and faith, even in trials.
Believing this truth would have profound effects on our lives. Take for example, a typical marriage conflict. Marriages in America are in trouble. As marriages break apart, society will face a greater magnitude of its current problems. Marriages fail when a spouse has given up hope. Spouses must remember that God is in the business of changing people and that he has the power to do so. (Phil 1:4) When one partner reasons that his spouse will never change, he has forgotten the Biblical command to hope in God.
The church needs to offer hope to the hurting world. There is hope for a hurting world because the gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ, is that he is in the business of redeeming a fallen world. He is in the business of reconciliation and is at work, redeeming sinners. His hand is powerful and effective and his work will one day be fully consummated. In the context of marriage, this hope should give us faith to believe that BOTH oneself and one’s spouse can be changed by the gospel.
Counselors must not forget that redeemed people can change and treat them as unregenerate, “slaves to sin.” Preparing for a negative response in a person would be wisdom, but expecting the worst would be foolishness (and perhaps a self-fulfilling prophecy?)
So what is a Christian’s hope? How can we view situations we face with the eyes of faith and hope?
We must remember that the gospel is not a matter of talk, but of power. (1 Corinthians 4:20, 1 Thessalonians 1:5) We must place our hope in Christ, not in our ability to change the situation. Colosians 1:27 describes Christ in us, as the Christians hope of glory.
Romans 5 explains that our hope is not grounded in ourselves, but in God’s love and in the revelation of His glory. This hope comes through in sufferings and trials. The ESV says this hope does not put us to shame. Another version describes it as hope that does not disappoint.
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. – Romans 5:1-5
If we believe in God’s power, we would follow His command to pray continually.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
What does this hope produce in us? Answer: Rejoicing!
In the context of marriage conflicts, spouses should pray earnestly for God’s glory to be revealed through a revelation of His power. God’s power can be seen through His hand in repentance and reconciliation. These are gifts from a merciful God. Spouses should ask God for forgiveness if they have given up hope in their marriage. To lack hope is to lack faith. God will help our unbelief if we cry out to him! Next, spouses must look at their own contribution to the conflict before trying to help their spouse. Only when a spouse has faith and looks at his own heart, can he start the process of helping the other out.
Praise be to God who has given us this ministry of reconciliation.
