Are You a Safe Person?

As Christ followers, we should be striving to cultivate safe places in our relationships for the glory of God. If you have been hurt by a brother or sister in Christ before, you recognize that is not the way relationships were meant to work! Christian community “should” be a place of safety.

Do people feel safe with you? Do they risk being real with you? Do people confide in you because you are known to be trustworthy and full of grace?

The reality is, because we live in a broken world, the world is not a safe place. Predators lurk everywhere… even in our churches. We have room for much improvement in creating safe havens in our relationships. But just because having safe relationships may seem like an unattainable goal, that does not mean we should not strive for it. Building safe communities is one way we can build the kingdom of God. Knowing Jesus as our personal refuge, we should strive to be a place of safety to those around us.

Here are four qualities of safe people:

1. Safe people find their refuge in God. You can’t give what away what you don’t have. If you want others to feel safe around you, you need to know Jesus as your refuge in the storms of life. As Derek Kidner puts it, “There is no refuge from him – only in him.” (Psalms1-72: An Introduction and Commentary (Leicester, England: InterVarsity Press, 1973), p.53.)

While amassing wealth, maintaining your health, getting married, or electing your choice for president may give you a feeling of security, this is not the basis for a Christian’s security. There is no safe place this side of heaven, except in the arms of Jesus. As one hymn puts it, “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand…. All other ground is sinking sand.”

Christians exclaim:

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. – Psalm 18:2.

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” – Psalm 91:2.

Is God your refuge and your trust? Do you know him as your shield and protector? If you are not a Christian, I encourage you to place your trust in Jesus for your salvation. Herein lies ultimate security: knowing that nothing can separate us from the love of God through Christ Jesus (Romans 8:15, 38).

Jesus is the great Shepherd of His sheep (Hebrews 13:20). Not one of His sheep will be snatched out of His hands. On the cross, the wrath of God was fully satisfied, bringing us peace with God (Romans 5:1) and giving us the title of sons. Now, we can approach our heavenly Father boldly and confidently because the blood of Jesus has paid the full penalty of our sins. Jesus will never abandon us and sticks closer than a brother.

2. Safe people are risk takers when it comes to vulnerability. Being vulnerable is an important way we can love others and be loved by others. Brad Hambrick explains the purpose and beauty of vulnerability:

“Vulnerability is the willingness to take the risk of allowing any event, belief, preference, interest, or emotion of your life to be “on the table” when it is useful to glorify God by encouraging a fellow believer, allowing a fellow believer to encourage you, or evangelizing an unbeliever. It is this disposition that breathes the life of authenticity into relationships and allows them to be mutually enjoyable, enriching, and character-shaping.” – (Vulnerability: Blessing in the Beatitudes by Brad Hambrick, p.7.)

Safe people put down their masks and avoid being defensive. Instead, they admit their weaknesses and failures, boasting in their weaknesses, so that the sustaining and cleansing power of Christ can be made known. God calls us to humble ourselves before Him. He knows all of our baggage and doesn’t run from us (Psalm 139:23-24). He knows our ugly parts, yet accepts us because of Christ.

When was the last time you shared your struggles or temptations with another person? Perhaps other people would feel safer with you when they sense your humility and know that you are human too. Do others know that they can be known by you and loved for who they are? Or are they afraid that if they showed you their baggage, you would avoid them or use it against them?

3. Safe people hate injustice. We create safe communities by pursuing justice. Just as Jesus was our advocate on the cross (Hebrews 4:15, 1 John 2:1), we should be advocates for the vulnerable. What would happen if Christians pursued love and justice and stood up for the defenseless and voiceless? What would happen if we did not tolerate exploitation and abuse in all its forms, whether verbal, sexual, or emotional abuse? What ever happened to holy outrage at injustice and evil? Safe people get angry and get useful. They leave their comfort zones to get down and dirty.

He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness
and to walk humbly with your God? – Micah 6:8

When was the last time you left your comfort zone and stood up against injustice?

4. Safe people understand their limits, knowing that ultimate safety can only be found in Christ. Safe people are deflectors, calling others to place their hope in God. As deflectors, we want God to be glorified by being hoped in. We want others to know that God is completely sovereign, good, and wise. Jesus is on His throne ruling the universe and upholding it by His word. Jesus is the only anchor for our souls. We can never replace our Savior. Instead, we point the wounded to the healer. Safe people don’t create codependent relationships or desire to be a person’s savior. Instead, we desire others to see our reliance on Christ and imitate our hope. “The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” – Psalm 118:14.

One pithy saying goes like this: “No Jesus, No Peace. Know Jesus, Know Peace.” Let us delight in finding our refuge in God. While the darkness in this world is great, greater is He that is in us than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). Let us point others to the beauty of God, who brought us out of the kingdom of darkness and into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9), so that we can proclaim His excellencies.

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