Unforgiveness: Its Cause and Cure

Overview: Many people may be unaware of a common disease called unforgiveness that may be afflicting them or their loved ones. But when unforgiveness, a form of gospel amnesia, is diagnosed, there is a cure. Knowing the mercies of God through Jesus Christ has shown to be effective at eradicating unforgiveness at its root.

Diagnosis and Symptoms: In the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35, we learn about a servant who is forgiven a debt of ten thousand talents by his master. Right after being forgiven this debt, the servant shows no mercy to his own servant who owed him a small sum of money that was infinitesimal in comparison to the ten thousand talents that he was just forgiven. Instead of showing mercy, this “wicked servant” refused his own servant’s request for mercy and put him in prison until he would pay his small measly debt. This passage offers us great insight on how we can tell if we are sick with unforgiveness. If I carry the disease, I will be quick to recognize what people owe me and put them in prison until they can pay their debt back to me. I will demand that they be punished and try them in my court of law. I will hold the debt they owe me over their head and lord it over them. The problem is, unforgiveness and bitterness is a poison pill we often swallow, hoping that the one we are angry with becomes sick during the process.

Cause and Cure: Simply put, the cure to unforgiveness is to know God’s mercy for us through Christ. Forgiving others comes easiest when you realize how much you’ve been forgiven in Christ. One pastor explained, “unforgiveness is a symptom of gospel amnesia.” Part of the problem of the unmerciful servant was that he thought he could pay his master back his debt of ten thousand talents, an unimaginably large sum. His request showed that he took his debt for granted. “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” (Matthew 18:26.)

Our sin before an infinitely holy God is a huge debt that can not be repaid by our own works. By debt, I mean that without God’s pardon, you and I are morally and spiritually bankrupt before a perfectly holy God. Bankrupt… consider what that really means. How is that debt ever to be repaid?

“Sin against an infinite being demands an infinite punishment in hell. In a few hours, Jesus suffered and exhausted the infinite punishment that impenitent people cannot exhaust even after an eternity in hell. He could do this because, in His deity as the Son of God, He is an infinite being. This is a great mystery, but as the Heidelberg Catechism states, it does assure us that we are fully delivered from the anguish and torment of hell in Christ (Q&A 44).” – From Ligonier Ministries, the teaching fellowship of R.C. Sproul.  Available online here.

Our incredibly huge debt, forgiven!  Because God is rich in mercy!  The book of Ephesians describes God’s mercy and love this way:

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:4-7, ESV)

It is impossible to know God’s mercy and yet be unmerciful to others. Therefore knowing God’s mercy and forgiveness is key to dealing with unforgiveness. As Josh goes on to explain: “The settling of accounts that we all need to be obsessed with is, is settling accounts with the King, the master, God.” You see, a person’s sin against us is nothing in comparison to that person’s sin against God, since He is the perfect being whom they ultimately have to answer to. This is why as peacemakers, we take on the motto of love, imploring others to be reconciled to God, because He is the only person that can make them whole and forgive them their immeasurable debt. The time is short before judgment! So get your debts forgiven!

Preventative Measures: Once we have been cured from unforgiveness through the gospel, we need to be on constant guard against gospel amnesia. Showing grace and love to  enemies has shown a positive effect on preventing relapse of this infectious condition.

photo credit: Andres Rueda via photopin cc