The next time you face a conflict, consider whether you are forgetting your duty, depravity, or destiny. In the final Keynote Address of the 2013 Peacemaker Conference, Tara Barthel, a “recovering attorney”, wife, and mother gave us the 3 D’s checklist of remembrance, a tool that has served her well in dealing with conflict. We can find encouragement to press on during conflict and run the race of the Christian life well by stopping to remember our duty, depravity, and destiny.
Tara recounted a real life conflict she experienced as the Director of the Institute for Christian Conciliation where she was ready to destroy a person that had offended her. I encourage you to watch Tara’s replay video to have a good laugh and see how the 3 D’s of remembrance can be applied to every day conflict. The pride in our sin would be hilarious if it weren’t so ugly at the same time.
Duty – What are My Christian Duties?
In her conflict with another believer, Tara asked herself whether she was remembering her Christian duty to love. What are my duties as a follower of Christ? I can think of a few duties given in scripture. For example, God commands me to love others, submit to authority, be slow to anger, and to seek peace as far as it depends on me.
Depravity – “Was I remembering the depth of my depravity?”
Tara explained that in conflict, we often put ourselves on a pedestal and put others down. Our problem is that as forgetful creatures we often do not remember the glory and majesty of God. Tara reminded us that our best days are like filthy rags to God (Isaiah 64:6). Even my best day is so vile and disgusting that it sent Jesus to the cross. My depravity should motivate me to humility.
Destiny… Where am I Going When I Die?
Tara explained that in her conflict she had forgotten that her offender was her brother in Christ. As Christians we are united in Christ and we will be together forever in heaven. “We have this warped idea that in heaven we will be with our friends. If we are in Christ, then we are one in Christ in Christ’s spirit and we are learning to live in the unity that he has accomplished for us.” Let us remember that one day there will be no more divisions and we should strive for that taste of heaven today.
How do we forgive others when it seems impossible? How do we love our enemies? We must remember our duty, depravity and destiny. May you be encouraged this day and equipped to respond to conflict in a remarkably different way. The gospel makes it possible!
Tara Barthel’s website can be found here.
