Julie Lowe and Darby Strickland – The Experience of Trauma (#CCEF2023 Main Session 2)

For the second session, Julie Lowe and Darby Strickland powerfully drew us into the experience and deep impact of trauma through a role play interwoven with scripture from Jeremiah and Lamentations. The story they used was 15-year-old Kayla, who was groomed and victimized by her soccer coach, Mr. Smith, who was a member of her family’s church and small group. They chose this story because it is sadly one of the most common stories they hear.

They show us how the book of Lamentations and Jeremiah show us how to lament to God. Lamentations captures that we are lonely, groaning, angry, broken, weeping, desperate, and pleading people.

“There is power in the words of the Bible to verbalize our heart’s cry to the Lord and others and it points us to the tender heart of God for our suffering and his powerful words to help us heal… Scripture is not silent about the horrors of trauma nor the distress that comes from the various types of trauma.” – Darby Strickland and Julie Lowe

Here’s a taste of Kayla’s inner wrestlings as she begins to understand she was a victim of abuse: “The shame keeps me awake all night. The fear makes me sick all day. I do not understand how it got this far and I do not know how to make it stop… I was just like any sophomore. I love my Christian school. I enjoyed attending church… I wasn’t on social media. I never had a boyfriend and had never been kissed. How could this happen to me?… He was kind and friendly and helpful. He seemed to have a good marriage. His kids were model Christians and college athletes. He was persuasive and he spoke about how fun the soccer club was. He also assured me and my parents that he would be looking out for me… I thought he would be protective of me. I thought he saw my talent and was investing.”

Kayla struggled with blaming herself, and then she had to relive the trauma as the truth came out. “I’m exhausted from speaking with everyone. First my youth pastor, then my parents and a social worker, the police, and now everyone at church. The more I have to talk about this, the sicker I feel. I am stressed, ashamed, anxious.”

One of Kayla’s biggest struggles was the flashbacks. “My mind is filled with memories. I see flashes of his face. I still wake up and feel like he is towering over me. When someone reaches out to touch me, I flinch. I no longer find comfort in touch. He has ruined that.”

Kayla’s parents and community were also deeply impacted and many of them caused Kayla additional hurt and confusion in the aftermath. Kayla’s parents felt shame and blame for missing the signs of grooming and abuse. The suspicion behind some church members’ questions did not go unnoticed. “Were they sure Kayla was abused? Wasn’t she of sound mind? Didn’t she know what she was doing? What kind of parent allows her child to be involved with a man?” Other church members even began siding with Mr. Smith, the soccer coach. They believed they would have seen the signs if it were true, and they were swayed by Mr. Smith who spoke persuasively and deceptively about his innocence.

Darby summarized the impact of trauma: “Trauma feels like it’ll swallow you whole and unravel all the things you thought you knew. The very real truth is that the experience of trauma overwhelms. It lingers. It causes foundational questions to arise, questions that are disorienting and can be emotionally, relationally and spiritually devastating.”

Here’s a small sampling of the scriptures Lowe and Strickland wove into the role play to help us see how Scripture identifies sin and does not minimize the impact, and we see the powerful laments of God’s people when faced with oppression and destruction. (Lamentations 1:2-3, Jeremiah 22:17, Jeremiah 4:22, Jeremiah 2:24, Jeremiah 9:3, Jeremiah 18:22, Jeremiah 8:6, Jeremiah 8:11-12, Lamentations 2:16, Lamentations 3:18)

But in the midst of the pain, confusion, and suffering Lamentations also gives us a glimmer of hope: “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:21-23)

I felt encouraged to be the kind of person who can offer words of hope and life to those who have suffered trauma, like the few people who spoke words of comfort and hope to Kayla and her family. “When Kayla couldn’t see God, when she wondered what the Lord was up to, there were those precious few who reminded her that she was not abandoned. They walked alongside her. They didn’t judge her… They stood by our family and were reminders that God loved Kayla and there was no shame in her story to carry.”

As we listened, feeling the weight of Kayla’s and her family’s trauma, Strickland and Lowe demonstrated the power of the gospel to speak to trauma and heal and give hope:

“While the experience of trauma says you are alone, that things will not get better, that you are engulfed in darkness, we must keep in front of us that Jesus knows what it is like and he is with us. He is the light. And so we grieve, but we grieve with hope.” – Darby Strickland and Julie Lowe

“God will restore, though you do not see it or feel it right now. We can choose to believe that he is able and willing to take the ashes and do something beautiful with them.” – Darby Strickland and Julie Lowe

“You are not without a God whose faithfulness gives us every reason to claim hope while feeling hopeless.” – Darby Strickland and Julie Lowe

“Questions will remain. But we know that God is there. We find our questions in his word, so we are safe to ask them—more than that, we are invited to ask them. To really make sense of our trauma and suffering and to heal, we need to turn our wrestlings to the Lord, remembering that he is the one that knows us and is for us.” – Darby Strickland and Julie Lowe

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