How to Avoid Being Defensive When Criticized

Even in our dearest of relationships, people will not always extend grace to us and may be angry with us, rightly or wrongly. We have a choice then, in how we respond. We can become defensive and respond by attacking the person in return or we can be slow to anger and slow to self-justification. If… Read More »

How to Get Angry in Conflict

Being angry well during conflict is a noble goal to have.  After all, Ephesians 4:26 commands us to us “be angry and do not sin.”  Being angry in conflict usually isn’t a problem, but being angry and not sinning is hard work!  Anger can boil up in me pretty quickly.  If I don’t ask for… Read More »

Hoping in God: Our Anchor in Relationships

Have you ever found yourself disappointed in a relationship?  Perhaps you expected a friend to meet your needs, but their faithfulness was lacking in your time of need.  Or perhaps you expected marriage to cure your loneliness or help you find fulfillment but your spouse’s ability to be there for you and support you has… Read More »

What is More Miserable Than Conflict?

Relational conflict… I think of tempers flaring, an argument brewing, and the peace disturbed.  What on earth can be worse than conflict? My Answer: The miseries of sin are worse than relational conflict.  In other words, sin is my enemy, not conflict.  The old but precise language in the Westminster Confession of Faith puts the… Read More »

Unforgiveness: Its Cause and Cure

Overview: Many people may be unaware of a common disease called unforgiveness that may be afflicting them or their loved ones. But when unforgiveness, a form of gospel amnesia, is diagnosed, there is a cure. Knowing the mercies of God through Jesus Christ has shown to be effective at eradicating unforgiveness at its root. Diagnosis and… Read More »

Are You a Cat or Dog When it Comes to Conflict?

In “Cat and Dog Theology” by Bob Sjogren & Gerald Robison, the authors explain that the difference between cats and dogs is very similar to how Christian theology is being lived out today.  Cats mistakenly believe that life is all about them, while dogs understand that life is all about their master.  The authors explain:… Read More »

Why Peacemaking Requires Guts

Peacemaking may sound like a cop out to some. You may picture the soldiers of the losing army waiving a white flag.  But when God calls us to make peace, He is not encouraging us to give up the fight.  Rather, He is calling us to fight the good fight.  Peacemaking in the Biblical sense… Read More »

For the Love of God and Man, Enemies Included

As a teenager, I would watch Chinese kung fu movies where the main character used his martial art abilities for the good of society. You would never find him taking advantage of others. Instead, he would use his weapons, his hands and feet, only when he was confronted with evil and only as much as… Read More »

Why Fireproof was a Great Movie!

If you haven’t seen the movie Fireproof, you should! The movie portrays the life of a married couple, Caleb and Katherine. They are caught in sin and about to get “an ugly divorce.” The movie depicts gospel truth, showing the need for the gospel to break through hard hearts before relational healing and peace is… Read More »